Creative Writing - Post Creative Writing Task

What is my learning objective?
I am learning to write better sentences using language features and to write them properly.

How am I learning it?
I am learning language features by applying them to my creative writing.

Why am I learning it? 
I am learning to apply language features to my writing to hook the audience with my writing and to write a good creative story.

Creative Writing link:
A Story for the Next Generation

Choose and complete 6 tasks on this slide. You need to either show where the examples of the task are in your writing, or you are to write them out into our writing and then show them into your blog.

Use time-related specifics:

A part of Paragraph 2:

It was a burning afternoon when she asked me to hang around the park. The park was full of thick, towering trees with dark green leaves.

A part of Paragraph 6:

3 years later. I proposed to her at the beach. I planned it for about a month with the help of her friends. The anticipation of her saying yes to me gave me butterflies every time I think of it. 20/04/85, the sun was setting, the clouds painted orange, it was breezy.

Figurative Language for the sense of sound:

“Whooshhhhh”, the trees whispered as we walk on the soil mixed with gravel. “Scrunch, scrunch”, the ground crunched as we both wander around the park, holding hands, feeling the smooth, chill breeze.

Describe characters through action:

A part of Paragraph 4:
While eating, we talked about what recently happened in our separate lives. Oh boy, the way her face glows, her smile widens, her eyes, her hazy, brown eyes distracts me from listening to her story.

Paragraph 7:
With tears rolling down her eyes, jumping with excitement she said yes. At that moment I felt like I was the luckiest man in the world. Adrenaline rushed through my body, my heart pounding, it felt like it was about to explode. I couldn’t stop smiling, it was the highlight of my day.

Show Characters through what they say and omit:

A part of Paragraph 6:

She was distracted by the sunset on the horizon which gave me enough time to kneel on one knee on the fine sand. It took her a minute to notice me kneeling down. I took the ring out and said in the most heartfelt and truest words in my life “Will you marry me?”

Replacing Words

Nouns - 3 years later. I proposed to her at the beach. - 3 years later, I proposed to her in Palawan, Philippines.

Adjectives - 2 massive doors opened 10 bridesmaids and groomsmen processed down the aisle. - 2 massive doors opened 10 bridesmaids and groomsmen processed down the bright, red aisle.

Verbs - After walking around the park, we both decided that we should eat at our favourite restaurant nearby. - After wandering around the park, we both decided that we should eat at our favourite restaurant nearby.

Inserting Words

I took the ring out

I took the diamond ring out.

I took the glistening, diamond ring out.

I took the glistening diamond ring out, slowly.